Giving Options

My heart can break now

My heart can break now. The truck left with all our belongings. The rooms are empty. Now I can be sad. Yes our kids were babies and teenagers in this house, but I am more overwhelmed that God knew what we needed before we did and provided luxuriously for us.

I wanted a Chilean style house but what was available was a cute wooden American farmhouse. It was cheap and a little too big. I remember walking the halls and being embarrassed that a missionary had a house so large (1800 sq. ft.) simultaneously wondering about how we were going to rattle around in the place just the five of us. The pregnancy answered some of those questions followed by the sweetest stream of visitors to our home, eleven years of tea guests and sometimes overnight guests. How blessed we have been to enjoy the presence of so many! How even more blessed to know that God used us in some small way as a balm for the hurting!

I leaned into the attic beside what was to be Suzy's room and thought to myself, "This is the kind of house I would have wanted as a kid." Nooks and crannies to hide in, deep closets. Almost immediately I thought parental thoughts, "I hope they don't get into this space." Of course they got into that little spot and many more! the walls have the handprints of hundreds of little Chilean and gringo hands.

We sang so much in the living room that the walls should be full of God's praises for many years to come. We laughed so hard that the windows still sparkle under the dust. The impression of those hearing the Gospel for the first time is burned into my own soul, an Ebenezer for always.

It was the packing and getting everything ready to leave that had me distracted, but now that it is all gone my heart is indeed breaking. It is hard though to make a list of things that we are sad about without making a list ten times as long about things we are grateful for. The marks on the walls, the half burned candles in the fireplace. . . It all tells a sweet story of how God loves us and provided for us filling our cup up overflowing. The lines have indeed fallen in pleasant places for us. My heart is breaking because it is just too full.

Laura Dye

Giving Options